Is sphincter control learned or acquired? It is a process of learning together mother and son ...

It is important to note that it is a mistake to try toilet training too early. Some mothers are proud to have succeeded, but do not realize the psychological damage they can cause. This does not mean that it will cause harm if you occasionally sit your baby on a potty to get used to it. What should be emphasized is that the mother should not be overly anxious or try to prevent the child from getting dirty or wet. The baby perceives this attitude towards her excrement and feels disturbed, since he experiences intense sexual pleasure when fulfilling her excretory functions and also likes her excrement as part and product of her body. On the other hand, he feels that his feces and his urine are hostile agents when he produces them with feelings of hatred. If the mother anxiously prevents her from making contact with them at all, she feels this behavior as a confirmation that her excrements are evil and that her mother fears them, thus the mother's anguish increases that of the baby. This attitude towards her own excrement is psychologically damaging and plays an important role in many neuroses.

Of course, this does not mean that the child should be allowed to be dirty indefinitely; What I think is that it should be avoided that cleaning her is a fundamental issue, because the child then feels how anxious the mother is about it. Cleaning should be carried out with ease, avoiding signs of disapproval or disgust when the baby is washed.

I think that systematic training should be carried out only after weaning. This education is a real effort, both mental and physical, for the baby and should not be imposed on him while he is dealing with weaning. Still later, it must be carried out without rigidity.

The psychoanalyst Melanie Klein A pioneer in research and clinical work with children, she recommended not being too harsh in educating children, but teaching them the importance of hygiene.

Texts: Mariela - Nanny psychologist

Bibliography

Klein, M. (1932). The psychoanalysis of children. Epub: Web digital version

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A hug, the Nanny Heart team.